And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
