Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
