i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
