Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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