Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
