I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
