Just fell off a train. Bad.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
