Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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