All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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