Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
