apparently the secret to your success is patron
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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