may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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