That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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