To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
