Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
