how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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