everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my being single is dangerous.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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