ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
