When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
