Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Randomize