omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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