their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
