woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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