I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize