peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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