Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
