we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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