Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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