Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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