I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
