I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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