I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
