90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
