You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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