i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize