office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
