Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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