Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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