Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
