I'm really into asian looking animals
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He felt like a one man threesome
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
