Nicole vs. Life
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
