I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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