Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Shame is for Republicans.
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