I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dick very happy bro
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
