You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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