well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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