he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
