Swine flu. Run for my life!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize
