I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
