his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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