Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize