I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize