I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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