He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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