I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
