Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Houston, we have a squirter
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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