She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Are we still banned from the library?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
