Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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