I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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