just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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