He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
