You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
