1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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