chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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