don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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