Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
