Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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