I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
