For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
