I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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