yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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