It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
