Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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